Remaja Menang, Ibu Bapa Kalah Kes

Sedang membelek2 emel yahoo, tergerak pula hati ni nak baca berita2 terkini yang sedang berlaku di luar negara. Macam2 cerita boleh kita baca kalau yang datangnya dari luar negara. Hmmm..banyak2 cerita yang aku baca, satu berita tentang remaja dan keluarga juga yang menjadi pilihan untuk aku post.uhu

Cerita ini berlaku di Texas. Kisah seorang anak yang terlanjur, hamil dan dipaksa untuk menggugurkan kandungan oleh ibu bapanya. Pada pandangan anda, siapa yang patut dipersalahkan? Gadis itu atau ibu bapanya? atau tiada yang salah, tiada juga yang betul? Tepuk dada, tanyalah iman di hati..btw, komen2 dari pembaca2 artikel ni pun sangat menarik. Komen2 mereka menunjukkan betapa educatednya mereka berbanding dengan komen2 masyarakat kita selama ini. Tak percaya? Sila baca dan buat penilaian serta penghayatan. Selamat membaca dan bermuhasabah diri.

A pregnant teen who sued her parents, claiming they were coercing her to have an abortion, will be able to give birth to her baby.

Attorneys representing the 16-year-old girl were granted a long-term injunction against the girl's parents in Texas family court on Monday, according to court documents.

The teen is 10 weeks pregnant and the injunction will last for the duration of her pregnancy.

As part of the order, the girl will be able to use her car to go to school, work and medical appointments. Her parents had taken away the use of the car as part of their effort to force an abortion, court papers stated.

The teen's parents will be liable for half of the hospital bill when she gives birth, unless she is married to the baby's 16-year-old father.

"We are extremely happy with the judge's decision today and we are very proud of our teenage client for being strong enough to stand against her parents to save her unborn child's life," Greg Terra, president of the Texas Center for Defense of Life, said in a blog post on the group's website.

Attorneys filed a lawsuit on the teen's behalf earlier this month arguing that her parents "are violating her federal constitutional rights to carry her child to term by coercing her to have an abortion with both verbal and physical threats and harassment."

The teen, identified in the lawsuit only as R.E.K. since she is a minor, was "beside herself" when she called the center for help, her lawyer Stephen Casey told ABCNews.com last week. The group claims it has previously represented teens in similar situations and won their cases.

"These girls are in a bind, particularly in a situation where their parents are forcing them to do something they don't want to do," Casey said. "Regardless of the [situation], that's her parents and she should expect support from them in this situation, not resentment and anger."

When the pregnancy was confirmed, the teenager's father allegedly "became extremely angry, was insistent that R.E.K. was not having the baby, and that the decision was not up to her, according to the lawsuit. He stated he was going to take her to have an abortion and that the decision was his, end of story."

The teen claimed in the lawsuit that her parents had taken away her phone, pulled her out of school, forced her to get two jobs and took away her car in an effort to "make her miserable so that she would give in to the coercion and have the abortion."'

source: Yahoo.com

A.H.A

How was it? =)

A Flower and A Smile for Her

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, "I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. "I want a divorce". I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked my softly, "Why?"

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "you are not a man!". That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce", she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me. she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, "I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy". I drove to office and jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind. I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, "Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore".

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. "Do you have a fever?" She said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Jane". I said. "I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart". Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband.

Mengapa aku diuji?

       Seorang remaja perempuan sedang duduk di ruang tamu sambil membelek2 majalah yang baru dibeli. Tiba2, suatu suara yang membingitkan, datang dari arah dapur. Suara yang sangat mengganggu emosinya itu ialah suara pertelingkahan ibu bapanya. Suara yang sering dia dengari sejak akhir2 ini membuatkan dia tidak senang duduk. Hari itu dia bersikap tidak ambil peduli dan terus berlari masuk ke dalam biliknya. Pintu biliknya dihempas sekuat hati tanda protes dan lagu band Korea kegemarannya dimainkan sekuat hati dengan harapan, suara yang membingitkan hatinya tadi dapat dihilangkan. Dalam hatinya terdetik, "Mengapa aku diuji?"

       Tatkala manusia diuji, ketika itulah emosinya mula terganggu. Keadaannya yang dahulu ceria dan sangat bahagia, kini berubah kepada moody dan mudah mengeluh. Jika dahulu seseorang itu sangat mudah melafazkan "saya sayang kamu" tapi selepas diuji, lafaz itu berubah kepada "saya benci kamu", jika dahulu hatinya selalu berkobar2 keriangan untuk memperoleh sesuatu, tetapi selepas diuji, hatinya mula merasa bosan untuk terus mendapatkan perkara yang sama. Mengapa ini berlaku?

       Hal ini tak lain tak bukan hanyalah kerana Allah yang berhak ke atas hamba2-Nya termasuk manusia. Dia yang memegang hati2 manusia, Dia yang berkuasa membolak-balikkan hati manusia. Dia juga yang berkuasa menentukan takdir hamba2-Nya.

       "Kalau macam tu, tak payah la nak berusaha untuk buat baik sebab last2, kita mati dengan cara tak baik juga. Kan Allah yang tentukan.." pertikai seorang remaja.

       Persoalannya di sini, adakah kita tahu bagaimana kematian kita? Tahukah kita cara kita mati itu dalam keadaan susah atau senang? Baik atau buruk? Jahil atau alim? Islam atau Kafir? Kitakah yang menentukan?

       Jadi, tugas kita sebagai hamba-Nya ialah, just do it. Do what? Do protect yourself from His anger and try your best to seek His redha. Jika diuji, jangan mengeluh, jangan mengalah. Have a strong faith yang Allah kurniakan ujian itu kerana Dia ingin menilai tahap cinta kita kepada Dia. Bagi yang punya pasangan, mungkin mengerti maksud menguji kesetiaan pasangan kan? ehe. Same goes to Allah. Ujian yang diberi itu yang menentukan lulus atau gagalnya kita dalam relationship dengan Allah.

Ada 3 keadaan mengapa Allah menimpakan ujian kepada hamba2-Nya:

1. Sebagai peningkatan darjat - hal ini adalah untuk orang2 yang beriman, yang disayangi Allah. Contohnya Rasulullah saw tetap diuji walaupun tidak berbuat dosa. Ujian Allah kepada baginda sebagai kasih sayang Allah dan untuk memuliakan lagi baginda.
2. Sebagai bala - hal ini adalah untuk orang yang selalu berbuat dosa dan membangkitkan kemarahan Allah. Jadi Allah menurunkan musibah dan ujian kepada mereka sebagai balasan perbuatan mereka.
3. Sebagai kifarah - hal ini adalah untuk orang yang jarang2 berbuat dosa dan kadang kala tanpa ada keinginan atau kesedaran, mereka melakukan perkara2 terlarang. Jadi, jika mereka betul2 bertaubat dan menyesal, Allah akan mengurniakan musibah kepada mereka sebagai kifarah atau denda untuk dosa2 mereka sebagai bertujuan untuk membersihkan dosa2 mereka yang telah lalu.

A.H.A

So, which is us? Semoga kita tergolong dalam golongan orang2 yang sentiasa memperoleh rahmat Allah. Ayuh berusaha untuk perbaiki cara hidup kita supaya Allah tidak murka kepada apa yang kita lakukan..wallahualam.

Perlukah Mengetahui Hasil dalam Dakwah?

Siapa kata dakwah itu susah dan berat? Dakwah itu mengajak orang lain ke arah mendekati Allah. Paling mudah yang boleh dilakukan untuk berdakwah ialah menunjukkan contoh yang baik mengikut kemampuan dai'e. Teringat kepada kata2 seorang senior, "pandanglah setiap saat yang kita ada dengan pandangan dakwah". Kata2 aku pula, "pakailah cermin mata dakwah walaupun tidak rabun..haha".

rupa cermin mata dakwah yang stylo 

OK, kita straight to the topic. Selalu kita dengar kuliah2 ustaz atau perkongsian dari senior2 bahawa dalam dakwah ni, dai'e perlu sampaikan sahaja dan hidayah itu milik Allah. Urusan memberikan hidayah itu urusan Allah, tugas kita hanya menyampaikan. Tugas mad'u juga untuk mencari hidayah, bukannya menunggu. Namun tugas dai'e juga sebenarnya untuk membantu mad'u dalam mencari hidayah.

Jadi, perlu tak dai'e tahu hasil? Maksud kata, perlu tak seorang dai'e itu tahu perkembangan mad'unya dalam usaha dakwahnya? Jawapannya, YA. Jawapannya terletak kepada metode dakwah yang telah dihuraikan oleh Ustaz Mustapha Masyhur dalam tulisannya berkaitan Dakwah Fardiah. Ouuhh mann!! Apa benda pula dakwah fardiah ni ye?

Orait2..nak mudah lagi, let me divide dakwah into two periods of engagement. Engagement dengan apa? Engagement dengan mad'u:

1. Short-term engagement (Dakwah Umum)

- Dakwah umum ni contoh macam ceramah2 di masjid, sharing session, konsert2 islamik dan lain2 yang berkaitan. Tempoh masa yang dai'e itu ada untuk bersama mad'u boleh dikatakan pendek dan ia bersifat lebih berat kepada tidak perlu melihat kepada hasil atau perubahan mad'u. Tetapi, the moment kita berada dengan mad'u itu perlu sangat2 digunakan oleh dai'e. Waktu inilah, "cermin mata" dakwah itu sangat berguna kerana di saat inilah, dakwah bil hal dengan menunjukkan qudwah hasanah atau contoh terbaik di samping kebijaksanaan dai'e dalam bergaul dengan mad'u itu memainkan peranan


2. Long-term engagement (Dakwah Fardiah)

- Dakwah fardiah ni pula bermaksud dakwah secara personal. Ia menggunakan pendekatan berhubungan baik dengan mad'u dengan tujuan untuk mengajak mendekati Allah dengan lebih berkesan dan ia mengambil masa yang sangat lama, bergantung kepada kemampuan dai'e dan juga kerelaan mad'u. Ia juga sememangnya berkait rapat dengan hubungan dengan Allah taala kerana ia berkait soal hati. Dalam tempoh yang panjang ini, dai'e itu perlu melihat kepada hasil atau tahap perubahan mad'u. Ini bertujuan untuk menilai sejauh mana tahap keberkesanan dakwah dai'e itu tadi kepada mad'unya supaya istilah "dai'e syok sendiri" tidak berlaku.
- Hasil di tahap ini juga perlu diambil berat supaya masa yang lama antara dai'e dan mad'u itu tidak menjadi sia2 kerana boleh jadi, terdapat banyak peluang untuk mad'u itu tadi berubah dan berhijrah tetapi hanya disebabkan sikap dan usaha dakwah dai'e yang kurang berkesan dan kurangnya muhasabah diri oleh dai'e, menyebabkan apa yang ingin disampaikan kepada mad'u itu terhijab.na'uzubillahiminzalik

wallahualam

A.H.A

sorry ye. ter"serius" pula dalam posting kali ni. Ada masa kita perlu serius, ada masa kita perlu tidak serius.ehe

Aku Ingin Tenang, Bebas dan Bahagia!!!

Alhamdulillah hari ini walaupun jadual sedikit packed, Allah bagi juga kesempatan untuk dengar tazkirah berbentuk motivasi (taujihat) dari IKIM. So, aku nak berkongsi lah apa yang aku dapat dari slot bersama Dr Muhaya dalam IKIM.fm tadi dengan tambahan beberapa point aku sendiri:

Ketenangan, Kebebasan, Kebahagiaan

Aku ingin tenang, bebas dan bahagia!!!

Semua orang inginkan ketenangan, kebebasan dan kebahagiaan diri. Pelbagai cara mereka lakukan demi mencapai ketiga-tiga elemen penting untuk diri mereka itu tetapi berapa ramai yang betul2 dapat mencapai elemen2 tersebut? Bahkan ada yang "tertipu" bahawa mereka telah pun capai ketenangan, kebebasan dan kebahagiaan itu.

Yang selalu orang buat dalam usaha memperolehnya ialah dengan meletakkan pengharapan kepada orang lain yang mana akhirnya bila apa yang diharapkan itu tidak diperoleh, orang lain yang selalu disalahkan. Sebaliknya, apa yang sepatutnya mereka lakukan ialah memberikan kepada orang lain apa yang kita inginkan itu. Bak kata orang putih, "Do unto others, what you would want others do unto you".

Sorry, gambar tidak menutup aurat pula..uhu

1. Kalau kita nak hati tenang, kita sendiri kena tenangkan hati kita. Kalau kita rasa tak puas hati dengan orang lain, itu bermakna kita sendiri yang ada sifat2 negatif dalam diri. Itu tanda kita tidak berlapang dada dengan orang lain.
2. Kalau kita rasa tak bebas sebab selalu rasa ada orang mengawal kita, sebenarnya kita sendiri yang tak melapangkan fikiran kita. Kita tak meletakkan diri kita dekat dengan Allah kerana orang yg dekat dengan Allah ialah orang yang betul2 menjadi hamba hanya untuk Allah, bukannya hamba untuk hamba Allah.
3. Kalau kita rasa tak bahagia dengan apa yang kita miliki, kita tak gembira dengan keluarga kita, kita rasa tak puas dengan harta dan posisi yg kita miliki sekarang, itu tandanya hati kita kotor. Kotor dengan apa? Kotor dengan nafsu yang inginkan dunia melebihi akhirat kerana orang yang bahagia itu ialah orang yang sentiasa gembira dan berpuas hati dengan apa yang dia miliki baik ketika susah mahupun.

Boleh kejar dunia tetapi biarlah ia kerana ingin kejar akhirat

Cara paling mudah untuk nilai diri kita ini tenang, bebas dan bahagia atau tidak, apabila kita bangun pagi setelah tidur malam yang panjang, kita rasa tak tenang. Bangun2 jek terus rasa nak marah, rasa nak berdendam dengan orang, rasa tak puas hati dan sebagainya. Kalau ada rasa macam tu, cuba untuk latih diri supaya bersyukur dengan apa sahaja yang Allah kurniakan dan sayangi diri sendiri. Appreciate your potential more is better than always appreciate others' potential.

Perbanyakkan juga berdoa kepada Allah. Biar Allah pulihkan hati kita, pelihara hati kita dari penyakit2 hati yang boleh merosakkan kita. Banyakkan aktiviti2 yang boleh mendekatkan kita lebih dengan pencipta kita dan juga pemegang hati kita. Hanya Allah sahaja yg boleh membolak-balikkan hati kita..Wallahualam

A.H.A

selamat beramal =)